Spike and Barley
by ThisisPorky
Summary: spike and barley go on random adventures together sometimes with the help of sass patrol read at your own risk this is so awesome your eyes will pop out
1. Chapter 1: scp shit

_**intense spooky ooky gameplay by spike wess and barley vgvjghj**_

* * *

one day spike and barley were playing games, they were playing scp containment breach when suddenly scp-173 is shit out of the ceiling, causing barley to scream like a little girl and spike to go "EEEEEEEEEWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA" because that's the way of life for spike. barley then dies and is all like "bullshit bullshit i come back to this game like in what, half a fucking year, and its the god damn peanut", meanwhile mhister spike wess is dying of laughter, tears streaming down his eyes as barley re-loads the game. but then, it crashes, causing another stream of curses and canadian banter to leave barbar, only making spike wess die more

then they play through again but this time at the end of the intro screen barley falls through the map because fuck physics, and as barley looks up he can see the map, and as he's falling scp-173 appears to be falling next to him and snaps his neck, and then barley to rage-quit and pass it over to spike

spike gets the old man scp, the stick scp, peanut, shy-guy, and many more, because spike is lucky. but the god-damn peanut hates barley. barley says it's because he's canadian and it doesn't like that. spike just says it's because of canadian bacon, which gets them into a heated argument about what countries bacon is better

the end


	2. Chapter 2: the movie

Names: Mister Spike Wess and Mister Barley McJuver

Codename: T.I.N.Y

Objective of Codename: Spik and BarBar have seen three suspects leave the military building - they have been identified by the locals as Most Wanted; Peanut, Anti Struts, and David Leatherhoff. They have been reported to have stolen the "Lil Ole Boots", a top-secret military weapon that contains tiny, tiny boots to aid the tiny people in a war against the zombies that have infected the town. Now, with the help of Struts, Charles, and Bear the dog, Spike and Barley must track down the suspects and take back the Lil Ole Boots before things turn nasty. Without the boots, the fight against the zombies is fruitless.

Many complications are in store for our hero's, such as the Old Man SCP, Mr Dangles, and Jitterbones, as well as some really creepy ass bitches. Plus SnB argue a lot about American VS Canadian bacon as well as bagged milk and other pointless things, and there's the occasional explosion that's totally not Spike's fault. Also, Barley rides a polar bear at some point in the movie while Spike rides a golden eagle while screaming "MURICA, BITCHES, COME GET YO FREEDOM" while welding a mini-gun and a shot-gun all at the same time. Nope, we're not lying - that actually happens. Awesome, right?

Also including original Sass Masters such as:

Hean: "I'm blue as fuck"

Renny: "DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE SPOOKY SHIT"

Shadow: "I am mister Smith, ooh"

Mike: "Hean pls"

Crystal: "Yeiss : 3"

And many more.

Will those lil ole men get the Tiny Lil Boots back before it's too late and the town is plunged into madness and zombie outbreaks?

Movie coming in the year 2050. Contains flashing images, awesome shooting and explosion scenes in slow motion, and extreme cases of Sass and original Canadian banter. This is rated for years 120 and over so if you're younger than 120 you can't watch it; this is because of all the spooky ooky shit and awesome scenes and Sass in the movie that are not acceptable for most people under age. So you need to grow the fuck up quicker if you want to watch the most awesome movie to date you nerd.


	3. Chapter 3: the wELL

Spike and Barley were walking down the corridors(?) of a well because they were dumb enough to fall down it. All Barley had asked was "why are you looking down a well" to which Spike "UWAAWAWAWAWA"ed, managed to trip on nothing, latch on to Barley's jacket and caused both of them to plummet off down in the well. Now they were trapped down there, with no way out, even though they had climbed up a fucking flight of stairs that leaded to ANOTHER FUCKING SET OF HALLWAYS.

Spike had a flashlight while Barley had a lighter, and together they searched for a way out. But, they then heard a noise. It went "plap plap plap" against the floor, and as Mister Wessent looked behind him, he saw a chicken monster thing running like a fish towards them. He screamed, which made Barley scream, and they ran off. But they were killed by the chicken because they didn't know where to go and soon got trapped.

They re-spawned where the shit man was waiting - it was the same shit-man Spike had earlier. Barley made a Canadian hyena laughing sound before they headed on their way, with nothing than a lighter and a camera that was low on batteries between them. They saw car head-lights staring at them from the shadows and soon a spooky ooky ghost they could barely see because of the darkness started chasing them. Spake Wuss threw his torch at the spooky ghost which made it fade away, and then, somehow, Spake also managed to set a bomb off inside the well. Because, Spike Wess.

Now, in a race against time and the flames, they searched for a way out. Barley started singing really loudly as they ran. He sang "SHIMMERY INKY DINKY DOO SHIMMERY INKY DO IIIII LOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU" to which Spike screamed "THAT'S NOT HELPING MHISTER MAN". They soon found some stairs, climbed them, and were soon bathed in the sunlight. They'd found a way out, but at the cost of burning the insides of a well. The flames reached upwards and licked at the stone sides of the well, as if reaching for the pair.

Whatever, it was a pointless well, anyway.

Barley turned to Spike and said "Do you wanna go to Canada for some bacon" to which Spike replied "ye" so Spike stroked Barley's wonderful mane, BarBar turned into a plane, and they flew all the way to Canada for the snow, bagged milk, awesome Canadian bacon and free polar bear rides.

Just another normal day in the life of Spuke and Bur.


End file.
